• a variety of fine pickles •

...has MOVED to http://redhotjezebel.typepad.com/

forgive me blogger for i have sinned

E-mail this post

Remember me (?)

All personal information that you provide here will be governed by the Privacy Policy of Blogger.com. More...

i have a few confessions to make. i don't enjoy confessing to anything really, but as they say, it's good for the soul. maybe not so good for say, your freedom if you're an axe murderer on the lam from the law, or maybe not so good for your relationship if you've been dressing up in drag and picking up greasy men as a trannie hooker. other than that, a little confessing now and then is supposed to be good for you. so, in the spirit of doing something good for my soul, here goes.
i am a hand lotion addict. i can't hide it any longer. i apply hand lotion at my desk all day long. it's got to be some sort of lotion compulsion. i have locd. it'll be in all the magazines next month. to get a good understanding of just how out of control this obsession is, i actually started keeping count today, after i'd already used several times in the morning. i didn't count, so i started from zero at 11am. i would fight the urge until i couldn't any longer, and from 11am until i left at 6:30 pm, i had hit the bottle no less than 18 times. more, actually, because i didn't count those first times between 9:30 - 11:00 am. i am a lotion junkie. my drugs of choice are keri, lubriderm, nutrogena, and oil of olay ribbons, because it's pretty. and i'm not even going to start with the burt's bees lemon butter cuticle balm. that's, as we say in texas, "a whole nother" compulsion.
as long as i'm still in the confessional, i might as well continue on with the soul cleansing. i am also, as humiliating as it is to admit, hooked on the nose candy. booger sugar. i enjoy the drip; it's the best part. here goes nothing... i am an afrin junkie. nasal spray. the cheaper the better. i can't live without it. i can't quit any time. it runs my life. i have left my house at 3am to score nasal spray when i woke up and couldn't breathe. and sadly, i've been an afrin junkie for more than half of my nearly 35 years. i started using when i was fifteen. sure, i could take the coward's way out and blame it on peer pressure. everybody was doing it. but the truth is that the pusher was someone much closer to me than just some teenaged afrin pusher. no, i got hooked up for the first time by my moms. i've seen it a hundred times. occasionally if i'm at my mom's house and i'm low on nosedope, she'll hook me up with some of her stuff. she's got excellent stash. i'm sure i'll end up as one of those washed up old junkies, living on the streets, turning tricks and mugging tourists just to score. i admit i have a problem, but i can't quit. i can't imagine my life without my lady, sister afrin. she's a dark and wicked lover.
and lastly for this turn in the confessional, i am seriously considering taking a voluntary severance package from my employer. my employer, a corporation who shall remain nameless - i'll call it schprink neckstale, has offered the entire IT department - 9000 of us nationwide - a voluntary "separation" package, just in case we were so inclined to quit of our own volition. i may not be the sharpest crayon in the box, but i'm not too stupid to realize that after the offer expires, they do have the right to tap me on the shoulder and relieve me from my duties with no severance whatsoever. texas is an at will state, not to mention they're spinning the situation pretty well, and we've all grown accustomed to their spin, and how to unwind it. i have until 5pm tomorrow to submit my request to voluntarily separate, and take the severance package upon the termination of my employ, which would be sometime in may. i also have - in writing - the right to change my mind about separating for 45 days after i sign the letter. more than 300 people have done it so far, and there are likely to be a couple hundred more tomorrow before the deadline. we've had two weeks to mull it over and i'm thinking i'm going to submit my request tomorrow because i can rescend it if i want to. i'd rather do that on my own with a little extra money in my bank account and 45 days to line up another way to pay my bills (and keep myself in the lifestyle i've become accustomed to) than to come to work one day to find that my badge won't get me in the door anymore and oh yeah, where's my next paycheck coming from? are you hiring? i'm desperate.
seriously. confession really is good for the soul.

0 Responses to “forgive me blogger for i have sinned”

Leave a Reply

      Convert to boldConvert to italicConvert to link


This is a Flickr badge showing public photos from redhotjezebel. Make your own badge here.

About me

  • I'm melissa mcgee
  • From Temple, Texas, United States
  • photographer. singer. soapcrafter. herbalist. dogmom. godmother. fantastic cook. i kiss better than i cook. [all photographs on this blog copyright melissa mcgee unless otherwise noted.]
  • My profile

  • 101 things about me

Previous posts



ATOM 0.3

Web Page Counter
REI Coupon Codes