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the list & a good moisturizer


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i spent a lot of time yesterday mulling over this list someone sent me about women. my first instinct, probably fueled by some sort of irrational feminism, is to think of it as rediculous anti-feminist propaganda. for some reason it seemed to remind me, somewhat, of the rules published several years ago. that was unfair of me, however, because this list really bears no resemblance to the rules, and is actually pretty thought provoking so i figured i'd pull up my big girl panties and just do it. so here it is, titled "every woman should..."

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD HAVE:

one old love she can imagine going back to and one who reminds her how far she has come
none i'd want to ever go back to, but most of them remind me how far i've come
enough money within her control to move out and rent a place of her own even if she never wants to or needs to
check
something perfect to wear if the employer or date of her dreams wants to see her in an hour
check
a youth she's content to leave behind
am i?
a past juicy enough that she's looking forward to retelling it in her old age
check
a set of screwdrivers, a cordless drill, and a black lace bra
check
one friend who always makes her laugh and one who lets her cry
check, and they're one in the same
a good piece of furniture not previously owned by anyone else in her family
hmmm... i'll get right on this one
eight matching plates, wine glasses with stems, and a recipe for a meal that will make her guests feel honored
check

a feeling of control over her destiny
is that a realistic possibility? how does one do this?

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW:

how to fall in love without losing herself
i'd like to think i'll be able to do that next time, but i know myself too well
how to quit a job, break up with a lover, and confront a friend without ruining the friendship
also something i don't think is inherent in my nature
when to walk away
i'm learning this
that she can't change the length of her calves, the width of her hips, or the nature of her parents
ain't that the truth
that her childhood may not have been perfect, but its over
tell that to my inner child...
what she would and wouldn't do for love or more
at one time, my mantra was rumi's "gamble everything for love". i did, i got screwed, i'll never do it again
how to live alone... even if she doesn't like it
i'm much better at living alone, and i think i prefer it
whom she can trust, whom she can't, and why she shouldn't take it personally
i don't trust anymore, and i always take it personally
where to go, be it to her best friend's kitchen table or a charming inn in the woods when her soul needs soothing
i haven't figured that one out. not completely
what she can and can't accomplish in a day, a month and a year
i've amazed even myself with this one

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD:

1. Give people more than they expect and do it cheerfully.
i'm pretty good at this
2. Marry a man/woman you love to talk to. As you get older, their conversational skills will be as important as any other.
this has always been very important to me
3. Don't believe all you hear, spend all you have or sleep all you want.
hmm. another one to work on
4. When you say, "I love you", mean it.
i've never once said it in vain
5. When you say, "I'm sorry", look the person in the eye.
whever i can, i certainly do
6. Be engaged at least six months before you get married.
i don't think this one even applies to me
7. Believe in love at first sight.
i used to, and it screwed me every time
8. Never laugh at anyone's dreams. People who don't have dreams don't have much.
good advice
9. Love deeply and passionately. You might get hurt but it's the only way to live life completely.
i definitely don't agree with that anymore
10. In disagreements, fight fairly. No name calling.
this one is hard for me, but possible if i exercise some control, which is also hard for me
11. Don't judge people by their relatives.
check
12. Talk slowly but think quickly.
try as i might, i just can't talk slowly
13. When someone asks you a question you don't want to answer, smile and ask, "Why do you want to know?"
good advice. i usually just blush and start babbling
14. Remember that great love and great achievements involve great risk.
no kidding
15. Say "bless you" when you hear someone sneeze.
check
16. When you lose, don't lose the lesson.
check
17. Remember the three R's: Respect for self; Respect for others; Responsibility for all your actions.
i try
18. Don't let a little dispute injure a great friendship.
the older i get, the more clear this becomes
19. When you realize you've made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it.
or cover it
20. Smile when picking up the phone. The caller will hear it in your voice.
this must have been written pre-caller id
21. Spend some time alone.
check check check
22. Learn the difference between when he says; I LOVE YOU to get into your bed, or I LOVE YOU to get into your life.
every man should come with a cheat list and a kill switch

23. [my own entry to the list] Cynicism gives you wrinkles.
i've got a good moisturizer.



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