• a variety of fine pickles •

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mitch hedberg feb 24, 1968 - mar 29, 2005

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today, i had a really crappy day at work, blah blah blah... i'd rather talk about mitch.
today is the one year anniversary of the death of one of my favorite comics, mitch hedberg. if you've never seen or heard mitch hedberg, and you have any sense of humor at all, it would be well worth your time to buy, beg, borrow or steal his two albums, strategic grill locations and mitch all together, which comes with the dvd of his comedy central special.
mitch hedberg had one of the funniest, most clever styles of delivery of any comic i've ever seen, and i have many times in the last year found myself saddened for never having been able to see him live, and no longer having the opportunity to see his HBO special that was in the works when he died.
tomorrow march 30th is the unofficial official mitch hedberg day; it's been designated as the day to bust out all of your favorite mitch hedberg jokes. some of my favorite mitch hedberg jokes:
"my apartment is infested with koala bears. it's the cutest infestation ever."

"I especially hate turtlenecks. I wear a turtleneck it's like being strangled by a really weak guy... all fuckin' day. If you wear a turtleneck and a backpack it's like a weak midget trying to bring you down."

"This product that was on TV was available for four easy payments of $19.95. I would like a product that was available for three easy payments and one fucking complicated payment. We can't tell you which payment it is, but one of these payments is gonna be a bitch. The mailman will get shot to death. The envelope will not seal. And the stamp will be in the wrong denomination. Good luck fucker. The last payment must be made in wampum."

"I used to do drugs. I still do, but I used to, too."

"I think Bigfoot is blurry, that's the problem. It's not the photographer's fault. Bigfoot is blurry. And that's extra scary to me, because there's a large, out-of-focus monster roaming the countryside. Run. He's fuzzy. Get outta here."

"Sometimes I wave to people I don't know... very dangerous to wave to someone you don't know, because what if they don't have a hand? They'll think you're cocky. "Look what I got motherfucker! This thing is useful... I'm gonna go pick something up."
"I think pickles are cucumbers that sold out. They sold their soul to the devil, and the devil was dill."

and my absolute favorite mitch hedberg joke:
"this shirt is dry clean only. which means it's dirty."

ah, mitch... i loved you so. you are truly missed.

*photo courtesy of www.mitchhedberg.net

1 Responses to “mitch hedberg feb 24, 1968 - mar 29, 2005”

  1. Anonymous Jason 

    Good post about Mitch's passing, mine is a lot similiar to yours. Although he is gone I have found myself listening to his cds more and more ever since and still enjoying them just as much.

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