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a quick rat tale


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last night when i got home, before i opened up my wonderful birthday package from sara, i left my dogs outside for a wee, like i always do as soon as i get home.

after i opened up my package and fawned over the wonderful goodies inside the package, i let my dogs back inside, only to spy what appeared to be a dead rat laying on the deck outside my back door. it was about 9:45 when i saw it, and it was dark outside, but the evening sky was illuminated by a brilliant full moon, and that dead, bloated, rigored rat was glistening in the moonlight. he was glistening because he was covered in boxer slobber.

gross.



thanks, boys, for the gift. they've taken lately to cleaning up the back yard and schlepping trash the previous residents of this house so kindly left in the back yard and under the deck; toilet brushes, motorcycle parts, beer & soda cans, toothbrushes, old stuffed animals... clearly these people were classy. i can't blame them for the dead rats, but possibly for providing a rat haven with all that crap lying around. nonetheless, my dogs dragged that damn dead rat up to the deck like they would anything else they found in the back yard...

last night i disposed of my very first dead rat, ever. all by myself. oh, i've had other dead rats to be certain, but this was the first one i disposed of. normally, i would call my sister's boyfriend, the strapping and not-scared-of-rats kirk, and he would willinging come over and fish the rat out of the toiled, or out of the closet, but i did it myself. i'm 35. i can do anything.

almost.

i just heard a rat trap go off. i've never heard one go off before, but i knew instantly what it was because of the location it came from, and it is, i understand now, an unmistakable, gruesome sound. it was the one rat guy bobby left on top of the hot water heater in the a/c closet. as horrible as this sounds, there's no way i'm going to go near that one. i can't. i tried to psych myself up to do it, and couldn't get close enough to the door to open it. i just can't; it's a physical impossibility. i'm going to have to call rat guy bobby to come do it. and worse, it's going to be after work, which is 6:30.

and that rat ain't gonna stay fresh.

I HATE RATS!!!


2 Responses to “a quick rat tale”

  1. Anonymous shellie 

    yikes -- what happened with the trap? was it a false alarm? i hope so. you didn't mention it over the weekend so it wasn't in the top 10 things on your mind. does that mean it was an empty trap, sprung on a fluke or does that mean that 10 other things were heavier?

  2. Anonymous melissa mcgee 

    oh yeah - i never finished the story! well, the rat guy didn't come out friday after work, after all. he just never showed up. i hope he's not dead - he's sorta old... anyway, honestly, i forgot about him even coming over, and - can you believe this - i checked it myself! sunday morning before my photo shoot... nothing. false alarm. it was either the spring-action that shot the bait off of the bait pedal, or the rats figured it out and got it after it'd gone off. no rat in the trap, which was on the floor.

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  • I'm melissa mcgee
  • From Temple, Texas, United States
  • photographer. singer. soapcrafter. herbalist. dogmom. godmother. fantastic cook. i kiss better than i cook. [all photographs on this blog copyright melissa mcgee unless otherwise noted.]
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