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raw brownie batter and a PSA


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this is not a PSA about the gastronomical dangers of eating raw brownie batter.
quite the contrary.

i relish my time in the shower.
i look forward to it, and am no stranger to showering three times a day just to indulge in beautifully scented bath & shower products. i'm a whore for good bath products.
my favorite of all time is prescriptives' calyx shower gel. that is the cleanest i ever feel, after a shower with calyx.
i may be a whore for good shower products, but i'm certainly no snob about them. i'll just as soon use a shower gel that cost five bucks as one that cost four or five times that amount. just so long as the scent turns me on, that's all i care about.
that being said, i'm not one of those sun-ripened raspberry shower gel kinds of people. while there are a few scents at bath & body works that i really like (my favorite is their peony) all the fruitiness sort of gets to me. the sweet-fruity is what i like the least, although i am currently nursing a bottle of peach-mandarin that was given to me for christmas, and i just love it. i can't detect even the slightest hint of peach in it, or mandarin for that matter. it's much more like ruby-red grapefruit; heady, brightly citrusy, nearly bitter. i love it.
as i was paying the receptionist yesterday after getting my hair cut, i was nearly overwhelmed by the array of scented goodies at the receptionist's desk, most notably a display for "fresh baked", a line of shampoo & body wash with interestingly chosen bathing scents.
the scents were cinnamon roll, apple pie, chocolate brownie and one more that i don't recall. i was skeptical about these scents for the shower; maybe a candle, but stepping out of the shower smelling like a brownie seemed a little... over eaters anonymous.
it was right up my alley.
i do love chocolate. as a soapmaker i used to make a lovely chocolate soap, heavy with cocoa butter and with cocoa powder. it was delicious, and had that unmistakable cocoa butter scent. i expected this "chocolate brownie" to smell similar to that, as nothing ever smells like a chocolate brownie when it's marketed as such. it just doesn't happen.
it didn't happen this time, either. i opened the lid and lowered my nose, then inhaled... the scent definitely wasn't that of a fresh baked chocolate brownie, as the label claimed. no, not at all.
it was better.
it was precisely the scent of chocolate brownie batter. when i say "precisely", let me make clear that i mean exactly. it smells exactly like chocolate brownie batter smells, and i would certainly know what chocolate brownie batter smells like. rarely do i make brownies that are any higher than an inch after they're baked, because i've eaten most of the raw batter. brownie batter is one of my favorite "secret eatings", and it's long been tradition in my family amongst the women who bake in the kitchen: we all sneak batter before we bake anything, and licking the beaters is cook's treat, as my grandmother and mother both say. i go a little farther than that, and break out the silicone spatula and scrape every molecule of batter off of every surface of the bowl after i pour the intended amount into the baking pan. let me also say this: i get the bowl clean.
i purchased the bottle of chocolate brownie scented bath gel, and i have to admit i was a little embarrassed at the thought of actually buying it to use it. i know that's silly, but i really did. i had to stop myself from saying something like "my sister will love this! her birthday's coming up." but realized that would just be stupid, and completely over-compensating for no reason at all. i shelled out the cash for it, and left to run the rest of my errands. it sat next to me in the passenger seat the whole time, and i think it was actually calling to me. the urge to cancel the rest of my appointments was very strong, but i resisted, and kept all of my engagements.
when i got home though, i was stripping down from the second i locked the front door and was naked by the time i got to the kitchen. i walked straight into the bathroom and turned on the shower, unwrapped the bottle of glorious brownie batter scented goodness, and stepped into the shower...
by the time i got out, the water had been running cold for several minutes. i scrubbed each and every inch of my being with my new shower gel. when i emerged, my bathroom smelled just like the empire baking company in dallas. it was unbelievable.
as hesitant as i am to shower with food-scented bath products, i have to recommend fresh baked chocolate brownie wholeheartedly to anyone with any sort of chocoholism. be prepared for your water bill to triple.
BONUS! my post about squat lobster is now officially a PSA! i received an email today from someone who found my post to be most informative:
"I was googling "Squat Lobster" for recipes and came across your blog. Thanks for the heads-up, I try not to serve guests hermit crabs. Thank god the store took them back after I brought the bag and a printout of your blog! I was able to trade them in for fresh muscles[sic] and salmon. I love living in the Pacific Northwest!Anyways, thanks again."
my work here is done.


4 Responses to “raw brownie batter and a PSA”

  1. Anonymous sayra 

    i'm with you on the no fruity soaps tip (apart from the occasional grapefruit or tangerine). kiehl's hasa fantastic grapefruit lotion and body wash that i love, but might actually be allergic to (which makes me sad, and i refuse to believe it, and keep using it, and getting itchy and scratching until i raise welts. but i digress). my mom insists on giving me victoria's secret lotions and things every year, and they're all pink and lavender and smell like old ladies on the third day after a shower (you know, they just put on more perfume and powder, so they're really perfume-y and powdery smelling, but underneath, there's a tiny bit of acrid B.O.? like that) and they're all called like "secret love" or "rose passion" or some shit. and the tubes all loook like what a romance novel morphed into a lotion tube would look like. I never use them, i just squirt out some before she comes to visit so she'll think i've used them, then throw them away before the next visit.

    so there's that.

    oh, and ooh! the jaqua buttercream body butter smells. like. buttercream. but yeah, i don't want to leave the house smelling like a big cookie. i'm in therapy because of cookies! (well, and brownies and cakes and my parents)

    i really should work now.

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  • From Temple, Texas, United States
  • photographer. singer. soapcrafter. herbalist. dogmom. godmother. fantastic cook. i kiss better than i cook. [all photographs on this blog copyright melissa mcgee unless otherwise noted.]
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