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if bea arthur & ernest borgnine had a baby


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it would sound like me.

i have lost my voice. i was hoarse yesterday all day, but today my voice is totally gone. it slipped away somewhere on a phone call. it had been dwindling most of the afternoon, and was pretty deep right before it went away totally.
ME: "thank you for calling sprint-nextel tier II technical support. my name is MELISSA."
CUSTOMER: "hi. yes sir. um, my text messaging's not working."
she called me "sir" one more time after that, and i managed to croak out that i was a girl, to which she asked "really?" with genuine confusion.
yes, really. bitch.
i started getting sick on friday late, but didn't realize i was getting sick, just thought i was a little rundown. saturday when i mowed the lawn, i sucked some sort of rogue airborne pollen-spore-thingy up my nose and sneezed for a couple of hours whilst i lay naked on my bed with the ceiling fan going full tilt boogie because i got REALLY HOT mowing the lawn at noon. yesterday i realized i was sick-sick, not just rundown. today, however, i'm not sick-sick. i'm sick-sick-sick. i sang on saturday night - burned the roof off'a the joint. knocked it out of the park. apparently, i blew my voice out completely singing. thank goodness my voice at least lasted through the show.
i seem to lose my voice about once a year, and it lasts for about a week or so. what i always marvel at, is that every time i lose my voice and have to struggle to be heard, i have this mental block that causes me to over-compensate for my lack of audible voice, and tend to gesture wildly and use over the top mouth movement, as if the people i'm talking to are hearing impaired and must read my lips. i always envision myself as a cartoon when i realize i'm doing that.
i'm stupid.
i have a headache from talking. i get all light headed and woozy. maybe i should just take this as my cue to shut the hell up for a day or two. that's an interesting, novel concept...


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  • I'm melissa mcgee
  • From Temple, Texas, United States
  • photographer. singer. soapcrafter. herbalist. dogmom. godmother. fantastic cook. i kiss better than i cook. [all photographs on this blog copyright melissa mcgee unless otherwise noted.]
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