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i hate that word "belly"

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my friend sara wrote a blog entry yesterday and included the word "belly" in her narrative; i had to comment to her to remind her of why i have always hated that word.

when we were probably about 16 & 17 respectively, sara & i were driving around our home town of bedford, texas, probably listening to def leppard, smoking, singing at the tops of our lungs, and laughing hysterically at nothing in particular. we came to a stop sign that looked something like this crude recreation, fashioned specifically for this cyber-reenactment:

we were stopped at the stop sign a little longer than we would normally stop, when all at once, apropos of nothing, sara and i both said in unison "i hate that word 'belly'".

i can't impress enough that it was in complete unison. exactly. we both agreed through tears of laughter ("i'm cryin'! look! i'm cryin'!) that this had to be the first time in the history of the world that anybody had ever uttered the phrase "i hate that word 'belly'", and the mere fact that we had said it at exactly the same time had to mean something. what, exactly, remains to be revealed. but that was pretty damned impressive. it became the phrase we would say whenever we coincidently uttered any phrase at the same time, even if it was only one word. it was one of hundreds of our inside jokes. sara & i were famous for our inside jokes and if i recall correctly, we rarely let anyone else in on them unless they were really special.

it wasn't the first time that had happened; some random phrase spoken at exactly the same time, in exactly the same inflection, with emphasis placed on the same parts of the same words, etc... i think the first time it happened was at my house when we were a year or two younger. my mom & dad were having a bible study in the living room with several members of our church, and sara and i were hanging out in my parents' bedroom watching television like sinners (it was the cosby show, so it wasn't all that sinful) and one of us was telling a story. for some reason, again, seeminly apropos of nothing, we both said "...like a hot knife through butter!"

it took a couple of seconds to realize we'd both just said exactly the same thing, exactly the same way, and after the shock wore off, we laughed until we were sore. up until the "belly" incident, "like a hot knife through butter!" had been our insider phrase, but even after it was replaced, it still held a special place in & amongst the inside jokes for which sara & i were so celebrated. maybe "celebrated" is the wrong word... "ridiculed" might be more appropriate.

nah. they were all jealous of our inside jokes.

all this reminiscing i've been doing whilst taking a stroll down belly lane got me digging through my highschool scrap book, where i came across several hysterical photographs from highschool, including this one, taken at bedford boy's ranch at the going-away party we threw for our friend dusty:

(i have tried, unsuccessfully, at least 10 times to upload the damn picture, and it won't. use your imagination.)

that's dave lane on the left in the swing, craig jenest, also in a swing and wearing his big gay les mis t-shirt, sara standing behind him, me sitting in the swing, and who knows what the hell i'm wearing, but i know i'm wearing those chinese shoes that were five bucks at the shoe repair shop in hurst, and dusty standing to the far right with his back to the camera. it was his going-away party. man, that was fun. we had a butt-load of fun every time we went to bedford boy's ranch, even the time sara and i got chased by geese, and i got bit on the ass by a particularly mean gander.

i can't believe that was something like 17 years ago.

even though i might use it from time to time, i still hate that word "belly".

it goes through me like a hot knife through butter.

6 Responses to “i hate that word "belly"”

  1. Anonymous matt 

    My oh my, I'm sorry that you hate the word that I have learned to hold in such high esteem. You see, over the years I have learned to embrace my zaftigness, my more-to-hold-and-love body, my chubby gordito appearance, and belly is a word that is part of my world. Besides, you cannot say Buddha's Stomach or Buddha's Abdomen without folks looking at you as if you're only able to access certain words that can never replace those simple little letters that go together so beautifuly.... b-e-l-l-y.

    But if it makes you feel any better, I hate the words "tarmac" and "credenza".

  2. Anonymous melissa mcgee 

    hehe! maybe i hate the word belly so much because i HAVE ONE and i DON'T WANT ONE. i share your zaftigness, more-to-hold-and-loveness, chubby gordita-ness... so i can appreciate your position here, matty... but i have to give myself a little credit here and say that there was a time in my life when the only time i would say the word "belly" was when saying "i hate that word 'belly'", whereas now i use it with some frequency...

  3. Anonymous sayra 

    it might have been heart: remember how we heard "barracuda" every time we got in the car?

  4. Anonymous sayra 

    and can you believe craig never became gay? even his WIFE thought he was gay when they met. i guess some guys are just really into hair products. and fashion. and . . . show tunes . . . .

    he's totally gay.

  5. Anonymous melissa mcgee 

    i know! hahaha! he's totally gay. i love craig. he's so metrosexual.

    i could never get that picture to show up, so i'm going to repost this entry to typepad and see what comes of it... it's a HOOT! you'll love it!

  6. Anonymous Anonymous 

    Do you know--I HATE the word 'belly' also. I work at a school and there is a student that use that word. When I hear it, I naturally cringe inside. But some people are not bothered by the use of it--but I certainly am.

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  • From Temple, Texas, United States
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